You are the master of your own destiny

There is a friend, who just told me that, his wife is willing and 100% looking forward to become a full time mummy(her dream) and if possible, he also wish that too, work from home, can take care the kids themselves.

His analysis on me who don't really want to be full-time mummy when my 1st kid  is born, because I'm not yet fully enjoy my working life (about 6yrs) and turn to be a full-time mummy at home, while their working life are a double up years compare with me, thus they are down with the working lifestyle and don't mind to be a full-time mummy.

I won't deny his points, well, probably he is right too but I can't comment much in that point yet, bcoz yes, it's only 6years for me, but how do I know if I worked for 13/15/20 years, what choices I would prefer?

What came across my mind is nothing is so call a "fully enjoy" in this world, regardless of work, eat, travel and etc. There is different stage and different responsibility to be carry in our every stages. Even I got everything, I might not feel happy though. What I learn from recent year, is satisfaction (知足常乐) and cherish what you have.

So, for me, human do has every stage to learn, overcome the obstacles and adjust ourselves to adapt the lifestyle. If from now on, I am still a working mummy, probably I'm tired on working in the daytime, taking care kids and household in the night time, or even if I am a breastfeed mother, busy ppumping even in the midnight. And probably I start to jealous and think of quitting the job. 

Also, we are not control by the life but we control and adjust our life. I've learned, instead of blaming the life, I should take my own action to create my colourful life. That's why I started my blogging, pick up my determination to finish my half done work (selling my maternity clothes thru various social media). 

And, miracles come to me. I might got an part time job offer, my clothes was selling out slowly, my kids are all well take care by me. I see sunshine everyday instead of a grey clouds.

It is all because I learn that "You are the master of your own destiny."

Kindergarten / pre-school in Ampang Area

4 pre-school / Kindergarten  I visited recently. And, below are my personal opinion only. Mummies are encourage to pay a visit, to get more information, but not blindly follow what is stated in the blogs.

Feel free to comment more and share with the mummies who stay around Ampang area.

1. British Montessori at Taman TAR (http://britedu.co/)Bungalow type, which do has big compound for kids to play and run around. Besides that, their facility is well established, with the Mathematics room, English room, drama room, canteen, and equipped with CCTV. Good environment, away from the polluted voice and air. However, I found out there is a lot mosquitoes, and, it's a disadvantage for my son who is a 'mosquito lover'. Checked with them too, there is no regular pest control too. Besides that, they has a big trampoline and playground, but it's located at the back of the bungalow, you need to take a steep stone stairs. I personally don't really like the design as i feel it is dangerous, no armrest.
   
   The main reason we reject this school is their fees.You may check it out from their website.
   
2. R.e.a.l Kids，Ampang (www.realkids.edu.my)
   I kinda love this school's faciliies, with a swimming pool (once a week lesson), music room, study room. And, a playground with a rubber floor. Also with CCTV. They also have extended activities for twakwondo.  there is a guard house outside the area and a guard at the kindergarten. Parents need to flash the cards in order to go in the area and pick up their kids.
   
3. Kindicare, Ukay Heights
   Impressive when I stepped in and talked to the principal. She answers all my questions, friendly, introduce the classes and facilities to me. There is playground in the backyard. Clean and well-equipped too. Although their outlook looks slightly old style, but that's not the main point. They have a compulsory music class, which you need to add on an additional RM50. The kids are all in good manners, greet us and they are so lovely when they saw I carry my younger daughter (3 mths old), touch her gently. And my boy looks interested and happy with the school too.
   
4. International Montessori Centre, Jalan Memanda 12 (near to Petronas)A corner lot terrace house. Chinese principal and teachers. Friendly and impressive. The principal answer all my queries politely too. A great interactive between teachers and kids, they are so close, both in smiles. 2-3 years old kids will be at downstairs only. Clean toilet and dining place too. 

Besides that, I actually want to compare Little Lighthouse with Kindicare as well. However Litte Lighthouse only accept 4 - 6 years old kids. The difference between them are the education system. Little Lighthouse emphasize in Fungates system. Thus, I didn't go for a visit and check on their fees.

All the schools i went do offer field trips and party. And, a proper pick up system. It's quite hard for me and my husband to make a decision in between No. 3 and No. 4 kindergarten. As No. 4 is slightly cheaper but my husband afraid that the compound is too small for the son and kids to play and run. And, as for No. 3, their teachers are mainly non-Chinese. 

After few days consideration, I would like to go for Kindicare (No.3). It's because of the environment wise, as well as the language. They have this Montessori method, fun and play learning, no books. I just want my son to mix around with friends and play fun. At home, we spoke Chinese, in school, let the teachers communicate with him a proper slang English. And, probably when he turns to 5 years old, we may switch him to Fungate system pre-school, which is more academic base, so he won't feel the burden when he join school in 6/7 years old, as Malaysia education system is in Academic basic.

There are still some of the kindergarten around Ampang area, however I didn't to visit because I had roughly google, some are Islamic pre-school. Not to say bias, but my husband and I more prefer for the non-Muslim kindergarten. 

Kiasu家长

当了妈妈，才知道当妈的真不易，从宝宝出世，担心这，担心那，哺乳的累和痛，宝宝的健康，宝宝生病,照顾的辛劳。

当宝宝到了学龄时候，当妈妈的，每天四处询问意见，上网找资料，货比商家似的，担心选的不好的学校。

我不想做kiasu家长，但是很矛盾的，我害怕。
怕什么呢，怕没有给孩子好的基础，孩子将来跟不上程度，怕毁了孩子一世。
但是又想想，以前我们嘛不是这样长大，还不是好好的生存?
转过头又想，哎呀现在的社会跟以前的不一样啦，生活水准，治安，课程啦等等。也听闻了好多，也去看过小学书本，我的天啊，真的不简单。以前的我们6岁幼稚园才学ABC,现在4/5岁就学，6岁幼稚园学spelling了。那些还不会ABC的怎办?就完全跟不上了。遇到好的老师，还会耐心教导，遇到偏心，混水摸鱼的老师，直接放羊你的孩子了。(我不责怪老师，因为他们也是人，有血有肉，有喜怒哀乐的情绪)
小学1年级学科学，学的词汇也不再像从前我们学的人，口，手那么简单了。这样的课程怎么不把当家长的吓坏?

我应该不是kiasu家长，我希望我的孩子能有真正童年的乐趣，而不是读书，补习，电脑，iPad， 电话等的度过他的童年。同时间，我也希望他能够边玩边学，至少我要当个称职的妈妈。

下一篇文章会述说我选择孩子的幼儿园的重点与看法。

Points for choosing a right kindergarten / pre-school

As a mother, I am so stress when choosing a kindergarten / pre-school for my kid. I google a lot, asking around. I believe there are also parents who is same as me, stress and worried that will make a wrong choice for your kid.

Here are some of the points that you may take it as a reference, hopefully they may helps those who is also in the troublesome when choosing a preschool.

1) Understand your basic needs

You must clearly understand the reason / main point by sending your kids to kindergarten. Full daycare / half daycare? Focus more on academic? As for my husband and myself, we just want our son to mix around with kids only, but not the academic basic. Thus, i am only looking for play & fun learning pre-school, no books, no homework. And, if possible, with the Montessori system.

Montessori is a method of education that is based on self-directed activity, hands-on learning and collaborative play. They emphasize learning through all five sense and individual pace. 

2) Location
It's an important point for me who is staying in the traffic jam area.  I don't wish to awake my son very early in the morning. Lack of sleep will makes them lost of study interest, (may makes then fear to go to school too), also not in a good temper.

Furthermore, if someday you are not available to send and pick up your child personally, is the transportation service available? As I know most of the kindergarten do has transport service around their area only.

And, for those working parents, if you have to be at office at 8.30am and the school is only open at 8.30am, with no early morning care, i perhaps, it's probably a NO-NO for you. 

3) Fees

After a few surveys, I found that most of the school have supplementary fees, material fees, book fees, uniform, insurance, extracurricular activities fees, either annually or half yearly. And, some of the cost is for half day session only. Parents are advise to check it out clearly with the principal. For myself, i am looking for an affordable school fees, so it will not be a burden for us.

4) Teacher & Environment

What is your first impression with the principal or teachers during the visit? Are you comfortable with them? Do you like their environment and facilities? Is the place clean and tidy?

I personally emphasize in hygiene, especially the dining place and toilet. And, my husband is more emphasize on the big area, for the kids to run and play around. 

5) Teacher and Student Ratio

I don't like a big group class as i felt that the teacher may not paying attention to your kid. Thus, this is a must question i will ask when i pay a visit to any kindergarten, And, the best for me is not more than 15 pax in a class.

6) Age

What is the age range they accept? As i understand, most of the kindergarten only accept toilet-trained children or 3 years and above. 

7) Security

How's the pick up system? Locked gate? How if the parents have any emergency, how do you identify if any closed relative or friends were asked to assist on the pick up? 

8) Field Trip

Except for studying and playing in the kindergarten, any trips organized for them? As it will be a vulnerable leaning experiences for the kids

9) Foods included?

Most of the school include lunch and snack. Also, I will check out their menu, to make sure that the school doesn't provide any junk foods.

The best for you to make the best decision is bring along your kid to pay a visit, and talk to the principal. Looking around with the environment, look at your kid response and if he is able to express, you may ask whether he loves it or not.

Coming next, I will write down some pre-school information around Ampang area that I have visited. or called. so far, I had visited 4 pre-school. However, it's all my personal opinions only, it's only a sharing info. Your expectations and your favourite might not be the same as mine, but I hope it would help those who staying near Ampang area only, as I found out, not much mummies comments on Ampang area kindergarten, especially Chinese mummy.

两胎之差

我第二胎的孕期，比第一胎更辛苦。第一胎，头4个月，吃了才吐，嗜睡。第二胎，还没吃就吐，喝开水也吐，根本没胃口，还因此瘦了5公斤。整个孕期还得照顾大宝，根本都没用休息的时间。每个朋友知道了就会说，那应该是女的(大宝是男的)。因为据说，每个孕期不同的反应显示了宝宝不同的性别。
虽然这只是一种没科学根据的说法，但是对我还管用。我的小宝是位公主哦。当4个月时，医生说好像女的哦，前后都找不到男宝宝的生殖器官，我很开心的一直问，会不会遮住了等。到了6个月，医生说确定了啦，女的，哇，超开心。

如果你问我，孩子最好相差几岁(我的2岁), 我的答案，3-4岁最理想。因为当你怀孕的时候，孩子2-3岁，会听得懂指示了，说不定还能帮小忙。我在怀孕时，大宝1岁多了，缠身，要抱，哭包，搞到我挺累的。顶着个大肚子，还得抱12-13kg的小瓜。庆幸的是，大宝目前很爱妹妹，每天早上一定是哭着起身，但是一知道妹妹在身旁，破涕为笑，然后就转到妹妹身旁，贴着她睡，亲吻她。希望他俩一直相亲相爱。